________________________________________
/ Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an  \
| air of weary sadness, and then turned  |
| to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator    |
| must really have been on a bender this |
| time -- he left a party in Cleveland,  |
| Ohio, at 11:30 last night, and they    |
| found his car this morning in the      |
| smokestack of a British aircraft       |
| carrier in the Formosa Straits.'       |
|                                        |
| -- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award,   |
| 1985 Bulwer-Lytton                     |
|                                        |
\ bad fiction contest.                   /
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     \      \ \___   / |
            /- _  `-/  '
           (/\/ \ \   /\
           / /   | `    \
           O O   ) /    |
           `-^--'`<     '
          (_.)  _  )   /
           `.___/`    /
             `-----' /
<----.     __ / __   \
<----|====O)))==) \) /====
<----'    `--' `.__,' \
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        ______( (_  / \______
      ,'  ,-----'   |        \
      `--{__________)        \/